Namak Halal (1982)

There are just so many awesome things going for 'Namak Halal' that it boggles the mind, much like the movie will do to the senses. It is one of the true classics in the genre of masala (or Bollyweed) movies and one of my favorite movies of all time. What makes this movie so great is that it is not just as good as the sum of it's parts - it's better. As usual the plot is secondary to the awesomeness of this movie (and most masala movies in general as far as I am concerned) and it's a great watch for any lover of Bollywood so buy it or rent it without delay.



So what exactly does this movie have that makes it so awesome? Well first and foremost it's a Shashitabh starrer and any movie with my two favorite actors is worth it's weight in gold (especially smuggler's gold but that's a discussion for another day). They play off each other amazingly well whether it be a serious movie (Deewaar) or a comedy such as this one. Again, on their own they have given the world of Bollywood some amazing movies but together their contribution just goes to another level.



The movie boasts one of the true legends of India's art house scene in one of her few mainstream movies. Smita Patil was only 29 when she passed away from complications due to childbirth but left behind a legacy of classic films and memorable performances. Many actresses of today's generation including Nandita Das and Tabu credit her as a major influence for their careers. She elevated any movie she was in and this was one of the few masala movies she starred in.



The movie also stars one of my two favorite Bollywood actresses of all time (the other being Madhubala) - Parveen Babi. Parveen is a fellow Guju and was discovered while she was watching a shooting of a film in the city of my birth, Ahmedabad. She was never known as a particularly great actress and had little formal training in it. But she was just a joy to watch on screen (for me at least) and not just for her beautiful looks but because she was such a natural in whatever role she took on. She was known in the industry for her kindness and generosity which makes the mental illness that afflicted her in her later years even more tragic.



The above scene was one of the movie's many comedic gems. Amitabh's character (Arjun Singh) is a simple boy from the country and wants desperately to impress a potential employer with his knowledge of English. People were quoting this scene for months after the movie came out and I think it still holds up rather well.



The above song was one of the biggest hits of the movie and also was the Filmfare Award winner for best song for 1982 (Amitabh was nominated for his performance but didn't win). It was one of Bappi Lahiri's most complex and memorable compositions as he took a bhajan (Indian devotional song) and turned it into a hit pop song. In fact, the middle of the song actually showcases his singing as the fast tempo of the Hindi version of 'Do Re Mi aka Sa Re Ga' was too intricate for Kishore to handle. Nonetheless, it was great visually and musically as no one had really attempted to do this in Bollywood until this song came along.



But the song for the day is definitely the stand out tune in the movie, Aaj Rapat Jaye by Kishore Kumar & Asha Bhonsle. Not only is it an amazing duet on it's own merits but it is one of the best 'rain' songs ever to be depicted on the silver screen. Sensual without being dirty and cute without being cliche. Smita Patil and Amitji both bring it for this song and it remains a true classic to this day.

Your weekly dose of 80's Bollywood Cheese

There is something simply magical about Parveen Babi and I just can't put my finger on it. Sure she was breathtakingly beautiful but there was much more that made her such a presence on the screen. Maybe it was the way she looked so doe eyed innocent yet had that fire in her that made you think twice about messing with her. Today's clip showcases all that made Parveen my favorite actress of all time with Jawaane Jaaneman sung by Asha Bhonsle. No one (not even Asha's more famous sister Lata) could do sultry quite like she did and when you add in Bappi Lahiri's rocking background score - well then you know why this song became an instant classic.



From the moment Shashi picks up the phone and hears those words made famous even to this day 'I want to kill you, I WILL kill you' it brings a bit of uneasiness even before the first horn blows. Then when the music kicks in with the echo of Asha's voice after every few words the song pulls you in for the long haul. Favorite moments include...
~Parveen's amazing hairdo & fantastic dance moves.
~Her gold costume complete with gold sarong.
~Amitabh hamming it up a bit in the middle with some moves of his own.
~Shashi going from alarmed to enchanted while watching her as only he can.
~The crazy sets with the spinning thorns of death everywhere.
~Colorful lights aplenty with virtual Parveens dancing with the real Parveen.
~As one astute fan on youtube pointed out, the song just goes to another level from the 3:30 to 4:05 mark.

And finally, why is it that every time I see a song from this era of Bollywood do I think - "I must make it my life mission to find this club and party there till the sun comes up with my near and dear ones'. Watch the video and you will see exactly why. Next week, a review of the movie itself and yes folks, it is indeed a return to the land of Bollyweed ;)

P.S. Nafisa - Happy Birthday and on your next one you must wear Parveen's outfit to your party and turn the surprise around on your guests!

My Name is Khan (2010)

Shah Rukh Khan's first film to be partly financed and distributed by a major Hollywood studio (Fox Searchlight) borrows a bit from a few Hollywood movies and weaves in a couple American tragedies to craft an entertaining if somewhat inconsistent movie in 'My Name is Khan'. Equal parts 'Forrest Gump', 'Rainman' and Bollywood - if the director (Karan Johar) had just tried to do a little less he would have had a much better movie to showcase SRK's foray back into acting. I say back because I have gotten a bit tired of his portrayal of Rahul (from DDLJ, KKHH, Yes Boss and countless others). And his (over)acting was pushing him dangerously close to the career path of Rajesh Khanna whose adherence to the same sad sack roles doomed his career. SRK did an admirable job in his portrayal of Rizwan Khan, an immigrant from India afflicted with Asperger's Syndrome. My friend Regina pointed out that in the trailer it looked like SRK was portraying a blind man and in some ways individuals afflicted with Asperger's are indeed 'blind' to their surroundings and the individuals around them. I have seen many patients with the affliction in my practice and SRK nailed the nuances of the disorder without going overboard or overacting in the role. For a politically incorrect (complete with inappropriate language) yet accurate explanation of what I mean go here for a scene from the movie 'Tropic Thunder' ;)



The movie also marks the reteaming of SRK & Kajol - arguably the most successful pairing of actors from modern day Bollywood. The story revolves around Rizwan's move from India to the United States and how he met and subsequently fell in love with Mandira (Kajol). The love story angle is standard fare for an Indian movie but with a twist this time around as Rizwan is not your standard golden boy movie hero and Mandira is a Hindu with a teenage boy. Their lives (and those around them) are forever changed and scarred by the events of 9/11 and the movie takes a real look at how many Indians & Pakistanis were treated in the days/weeks/months after and continue to deal with the ramifications of to this day. The movie also looks into how ordinary people (both Indians & Americans) can resort to violence to deal with problems beyond their worst nightmares. It's all a little complicated and to add to the already tragedy laden plot, the story has Rizwan stop along in Georgia to deal with a Katrina like hurricane and help rescue a town that the federal government neglected. I lived in New Orleans when Hurricane Katrina hit and obviously the scope of the tragedy was far beyond what the movie showed and the inclusion of the hurricane into the plot was a bit unnecessary. However borrowing a page from 'Forrest Gump' it did serve to put our very Indian hero smack in the middle of his second very American tragedy.



It all boils down to a very watchable and entertaining movie that fans of SRK and Kajol will most likely enjoy. The messages are somewhat heavy handed and like most Bollywood movies the film goes on for about 30 minutes too long. But like I said in my post prior to watching the movie, I was most interested in seeing if Shah Rukh Khan was going to step out of his comfort zone and actually act instead of going through the motions and he did not disappoint. Kajol does her usual Kajol thing and maybe it's her turn to step outside of her comfort zone and do a role ala Nandita Das or Tabu that stretches her abilities as an actor but that's a post for a different day. My main quibble with Kajol though? At the risk of sounding shallow I will say that seeing her on the big screen for the first time in years had me gasp a bit because of well... the sheer bushiness of her eyebrows. I know one is supposed to look past all that and she has gone on record to say that she refuses to wax or thread them to preserve a more 'natural look'. Well if you are going to do that then why shave your legs or wear make up? Why not just go natural for your whole look instead of just parts? Just my two cents but judging from what many people have said I am certainly not in the minority in my views on 'Eyebrowgate'.



The title song of the movie Tere Naina (sung by Shafqat Amanan Ali) is one of my favorite songs of the year and today's addition to the jukebox. Ali is a classically trained artist and founded the highly successful Pakistani band Fuzon. He left the band after being featured more and more in Bollywood movie productions and also sung the title song (Yeh Honsla) to one of my favorite Bollywood movies, 'Dor'. While the movie grossed the highest opening weekend and opening day overseas for a Bollywood film, only time will tell if the film is as fondly remembered as SRK's other hits. It's definitely worth a watch and very much more than just a 'time pass'.

SRK previews 'My Name is Khan' - no more Rahul?

I am going to see 'My Name is Khan' tonight on the big screen and have heard it's already breaking box office records in India despite the controversy associated with it's release. The build up to it's release has been huge considering that it stars Shah Rukh Khan, Kajol and is directed by hit maker Karan Johar. SRK plays a man afflicted with autism and as a psychiatrist I have a very personal interest in seeing how he and the filmmakers pull this off in a Bollywood movie. I don't expect it to be the time honored song and dance movie that we are used to but for me that's a good thing.



Not that I mind the tried and true 'classic' Bollywood movie but I am not sure the subject matter (autism and the treatment of Muslims in post 9/11 America) would necessarily work with it. Plus, I would love to see SRK challenge himself and NOT play the character of Rahul for once - which he has seemed to have done in every film since DDLJ. Now I am not a SRK hater, in fact I go out of my way to see every one of his movies because he is an immensely entertaining actor and his movies are a joy to watch. Due to his status in Bollywood royalty his films have great production values and often turn out well.

But success has a dangerous way of making one complacent and SRK too often falls back on the tried and true Rahul in what seems like every role he takes on. Where is the actor who started his career with the little seen miniseries 'Fauji'? Or the one who played a psychopath to perfection in 'Darr'? I'll even take his art house experiments with 'Paheli' and 'Hey Ram' even though they weren't necessarily commercial successes. Rajesh Khanna's star once shone brighter than SRK's or even the legendary Amitabh Bachchan's but his insistence on playing the same sad sack character as well as his limited range as an actor led to his eventual downfall.



As evidenced by the clip above Karan Johar thinks he has something special with this movie and here's to hoping that SRK decides to go along with him and do something different with himself. Maybe King Khan thinks that if he strays too far from his formula for success his fans won't come along for the ride. But as another Khan (Aamir) has shown us - if an actor gives the audience a performance they can believe in, they will follow him and the box office grosses will follow.

Sikandar (2009)

I want to start this review out with a confession. I will watch virtually any movie you put in front of me that has to do with Partition and the myriad of problems that stemmed from it, especially those involving the mystical vale of Kashmir. It's been an obsession of mine ever since I read the book 'Freedom at Midnight' and even though I have lived in the US for most of my life - the subject remains very dear to my heart. I have close friends from both sides of the border and have written a past post on the subject as well. So when I heard about the movie 'Sikandar' I was immediately drawn to it for it's catchy songs as well as it's subject matter.



Sadly though, this movie was just a mess. The first half explored the basic themes of movies of this sort - violence undertaken for the sake of freedom, religious extremism, children caught in this cycle of hate, etc. The story centers around Sikandar - a 14 y.o. Muslim boy who has been orphaned by the jihaadi movement in Kashmir who now lives with his aunt and uncle. One day he finds a gun and the events that stem from that fateful discovery are what make up the bulk of the movie. The director really tries in earnest to point out how complex this problem is and how the solution to it's resolution will not be easy. But he does it in such a confusing and ultimately uninteresting way that his efforts go in vain. There are many better Partition movies out there including 'Pinjar', 'Parzania' and the 1975 National Award winner 'Garam Hawa' (review coming soon).




Not everything was bad about the movie. The actress who played Sikandar's best friend Nasreen (Ayesha Kapoor) was a joy to watch and the scenery was simply spectacular. Not sure if they shot the movie on location but seeing Kashmir is definitely on my bucket list of things to do. And last but not least, a cute little number that is the song of the week - Chaal Apni by Hrishikesh Kamerkar & Hamsika Iyer.

Yaarana (1981)

In 1981 Amitabh Bachchan was at the absolute pinnacle of his popularity in Bollywood. His hits were not only this film but 'Silsila', 'Naseeb', 'Kaalia' and 'Lawaaris' as well. It seemed that everything he touched turned into box office gold and this movie was no exception. It was well received at the box office and the soundtrack was a resounding success as well. I remember this movie fondly not only because of AB but because it was the first movie that I had seen with Amjad Khan playing a good guy. It was a real shocker to see the actor who brought Gabbar Singh to life in 'Sholay' play someone with a heart and even all these years later I remember thinking he was going to turn on AB any minute and just start shooting.

The story is about two best friends (played by AB & Amjad Khan) Kishan and Bishan respectively. They grew up together in a small village and Bishan went off to the city to get an education and when he returned years later to visit he found that his old friend Kishan had an amazing singing voice and vowed to make a star out of him. Plenty of high jinks ensue when the country bumpkin Kishan is taken to the big city and introduced to the wonders of modern technology. My favorite sceene is when Kishan (growing tired of singing lessons) attempts to get himself kicked out of dance class and an all out brawl ensues. Neetu Singh (in a very underutilized role) plays the love interest but is given surprisingly little to do. Like most Bollywood movies the story gets rather silly at the end and goes on for far too long but it was good for the time.



Our friend Beth over at Beth Loves Bollywood had a very different opinion of this film (she hated it) and after reading her post I do get where she is coming from. I saw this film as a 13 y.o. teenager in full hero worship of Amitabh Bachchan but my parents, aunts & uncles all enjoyed the movie as well. Is it a cultural thing or does it just not hold up well over time? There is a heaping dose of physical comedy in the movie and an equally heaping dose of melodrama as well. 'Do Aur Do Paanch' was made just a year earlier with the same director/star and had much of the same elements in it but rewatching that recently was a blast. I have not seen 'Yaarana' since my original viewing and maybe it's best that I keep it that way to preserve the magical memories. And if you do want to undertake the viewing of this movie - do what we do when watching these masala AB movies from the 70's & 80's... Don't worry too much about the plot and fast forward to the songs as well as the scenes with AB himself ;)



At the end of the day though, this movie is remembered for the same reason that many not-so-good Bollywood movies are considered classics - the songs. Yes, there is the now legendary lightbulb suit song Saara Zamana that I wrote about a few weeks ago but the entire soundtrack is just phenomenal. Kishore Kumar was at the height of his career as well and in addition to the high energy songs he gave us two wonderfully tender ones as well. The video for Chookar Mere Man Ko can be found above. My personal favorite though is the song for today's post and is one of the best odes to friendship ever written - Tere Jaisa Yaar.

Your weekly dose of 80's Bollywood Cheese

Saw U2 in concert earlier this year in Vegas and it was a great show - the boys from Dublin can still rock. The above picture is of Bono wearing a red laser jacket while performing the song Ultra Violet (Light My Way). The first thing that came to my mind? Wow, Bono just out and out stole an outfit from none other than the legend himself, Amitabh Bachchan. And didn't even bother to give the man props. The movie? 'Yaarana'. The song? Saara Zamaana. Now granted, the Big B's jacket didn't have red laser lights, it had white Christmasy type ones as you can clearly see in the picture below. But when I got the text messages from friends of mine who saw the show in Houston a few days before I did about the thievery, I knew exactly what to expect.



Now this song is so chock full of delightfully delicious moments that I felt the need to provide some can't miss moments (these can be found below the video itself).



~ The outfit AB is sporting to start the song is just superb. LOVE those sunglasses & that red handkerchief!

~ The entrance of the radiant Neetu Singh for no particular reason except to provide a dance partner for AB.

~ The dance moves here pretty much set the tone for the wonderful cheese moves to follow throughout the song.

~ Nothing however will prepare for the move at the 1:07 mark. Hip thrusts? Michael Jackson style? From AB himself? Believe it!

~ This is followed by some more awesome AB/Neetu dancing.

~ Random prop time - AB gets an electric guitar. Mysteriously though the music doesn't really change all that much but it looks great nonetheless.

~ At the 2:32 mark is when the real magic begins. First the background dancers come in with candles. This is followed by the show-stopping entrance of the fabled WHITE LIGHT ELECTRIC JACKET. Be dazzled folks, be dazzled...

~ Now come a whole new set of dance moves starting with a butt shake that is just as rocking as the hip thrust earlier. At one point the dancers all surround AB in a dance circle and the girls literally fall at his feet in awe. Never underestimate the power of AB, never.

~ The big mystery in this video for me dating back to when I originally saw the movie in 1981 was where the hell did the audience go? Did the budget for the light jacket sequence prevent any extras being hired? If so why not just use stock footage from the first half of the song? Why substitute lights for audience members? Was it an artistic thing? So many questions, so few answers and so many tiny lights/audience members...

~ Missed the hip thrust first time around? Fret not because it makes a reappearance at the 3:35 mark!

Both the movie and soundtrack remain favorites of mine to this day and today's post is a prelude to a full review sometime next week. Cheers!

Your weekly dose of 80's Bollywood Cheese

This one is another Kishore Kumar duet (yes I know, a shocker) and is from the now forgotten movie 'Meri Aawaz Suno'. It stars the always popular but never quite respected "Jumping Jack of Bollywood" - Jeetendra. It also stars my favorite actress from the 80's - the angelic Parveen Babi. Why this song?

- it's a jam.
- the crazy saxophone playing throughout.
- the great costumes including Jeetubhai's awesome silver jumpsuit thingy and Parveen's wicked black genie outfit with just a naughty touch of cleavage.
- the fact that in it, both our stars are undercover cops in the villain's lair.

Here is the description of the movie from the back of the DVD (really)

Sushil Kumar (Jeetendra) lives a middle-class lifestyle along with his widowed mom, Kamini, an unmarried sister, Shobha and his pregnant wife, Sunita (Hema Malini). Shobha falls in love with a wealthy man named Kumar, introduces him to her family, gets their approval and gets married. Shortly thereafter she disappears and the Kumar family realize that Shobha has been abducted by her husband, who belongs to a gang of of women-kidnappers. Sushil is determined to find her whereabouts, gets a job with the Police as a Sub-Inspector, does his work honestly and diligently and is publicly honored. Thereafter he is assigned by CBI Officer Sangram Singh to a secret mission to locate and apprehend smugglers, thieves, and women abductors, which can only be done after he dons the guise of jailed gangster Kanwar Lal, his look-alike. Sushil accepts this assignment in the hopes of being re-united with his sister - not knowing that he is putting not only his very own life but also the lives of Sunita and Kamini in serious danger.

I wouldn't really recommend this movie because it wasn't really all that good and unnecessarily violent. But the diamond in the rough was this song which has remained a favorite of mine through the years and was thrilled to have accidentally stumbled upon on it on youtube.

Chashme Buddoor (1981)

Sweet, funny, touching, interesting, REAL... Those are just a few qualities that the film 'Chashme Buddoor' possesses and it's one of those films that I can recommend to any film lover without hesitation. The story is deceptively simple and therein lays it's beauty - no overdrawn melodrama, no excessive violence with only the faintest of convoluted plot twists that make you pray the movie comes to a merciful end. Not saying that movies that have all those things aren't fun to watch but sometimes you just want the filmmaker to keep things simple. Sai Paranjpye is one of the few female directors whose work I have seen in Indian cinema and though her body of work is comprised of just a handful of movies they are all worth seeing. Her first one 'Sparsh' was the recipient of both National as well as Filmfare Awards. 'Chashme Buddoor' is her sophomore effort and remains a favorite of Bollywood fans for it's honest portrayal of everyday life in India. Paranjpye was the recipient of the Padma Bhushan by the government of India in 2006 for her contribution to the arts.



All Indian movies begin with the above certification from the censor board and are rated either 'U' for unrestricted viewing by all audiences or 'A' for adults only. The certificate also gives other useful information such as when the movie was originally released and how many reels or how long it is - I remember sitting in a theater in India while audience members gasped at anything over 30 reels - that was going to be one long movie! I include this bit of trivia because if you look in the lower right hand corner you will see the signature of none other than the legendary director Hrishikesh Mukherjee of 'Abhimaan', 'Gol Maal', 'Mili' and other classics. His movies were always deceptively simple themselves but had a much deeper meaning that still render them classics to this day. Coincidence that his name was the one approving this film? More like kismat I would say.



Before I give a brief synopsis and a few screen shots of the movie I just want to say that if anyone, I mean ANYONE can provide me with that killer poster of Amitabh in the background I would be eternally grateful and would be in your debt for many lifetimes to come.



Our film begins with three college students of whom Siddharth (Farooq Shaikh) - our hero - is the quiet studious one and whose best friends Omi and Jai are more interested in the finer things in life. Namely music, movies, cigarettes, general loafing around and of course - girls. Any new girl that moves into their neighborhood is fair game for their ogling and this forms the central plot of the movie when Neha (Deepti Naval) moves in nearby.



While the guys all genuinely care for one another Omi and Jai are flummoxed by Siddharth's goody two shoes ways and cannot understand why he just wants to study all the time instead of having fun in life like they do. Their fun of course turns to the pursuit of the fair Neha and while their version of what happened when they went to try and woo her is drastically different than the truth it's part of what makes the movie such a gem. Love the glamour shot picture of our beloved Shabana Azmi in the screen cap above!



First Omi tries his luck using his love of shayari (classical Urdu poetry) on the fair maiden. In his recanting of the meeting to his boys (full of lies and exaggerations, i.e. the hallmark of a great story) he tells them that she was actually expecting him. Then he wins her over with his poetry which of course segues into a ghazal with the required costume change.



It's worth noting here that Deepti Naval was one of the most respected art house actresses of her day and I would highly recommend just about anything she starred in.



After hearing Omi's tall tale Jai decides to try his hand at romancing Neha and does so by pretending to be a big time Bollywood producer. Neha of course is blown away by this revelation (in his version of the story of course) and who wouldn't be?



The makers of the film even take a sly swipe at the whole 'long lost brothers reuniting' theme of several masala films of the day, just brilliant.



Jai then tells the boys about the 'screen test' he gave to Neha in the above video clip which is one of my favorite scenes in the movie. Lovers of classic Bollywood movies will recognize many of the songs - all acted out by Jai and Neha.



Finally we have the scene in which Siddharth and Neha meet (above clip) and it is not only my favorite scene of this movie but of any movie I have seen. It is done with such grace and humility by the two actors and is sweet, funny and incredibly real all at once. If you have ten minutes to spare I ask you to take a break from your day and lose yourself for a few minutes by clicking the play button above.



This review would not be complete without mentioning Saeed Jaffrey who plays the mentor/father figure/all around good guy to the boys, Lallan Mia and just never fails to impress in any movie he is in. Add to the mix a couple of guest appearances by two members of Bollywood royalty and you have one special movie. But don't just take my word for it - our friend Beth Loves Bollywood says it's 'endearing, appealing, and engaging. Chashme Buddoor is all those things without being gooey' - and over at Filmigeek it's described as 'perhaps as close to perfect as a film can be'. I think the whole film can be seen on youtube with English subtitles so now you dear reader, have absolutely no excuse not to give it a spin. And if you don't like it, the good Doc promises to buy you a tuti-fruti ice cream next time he sees you.



Today's song is Kahaan Se Aaye sung by Yesudas & Haimanti Shukla. You see, Neha is also a lover of the arts and the above video clip is the sad version of this classically rendered tune.

Your weekly dose of 80's Bollywood Cheese

Just in time for the Abhishek/Aishwarya appearance on Oprah later this afternoon we present the big AB himself along with the reigning queen from down southside, Sridevi. Yes, the song is from a movie that is a quarter century old (!) but it's a jam that can stand alongside the best of them. Some remarks from fans of the song include:

Sonal: OMG!! what sort of dance are they doing? love it!! and sridevi in her prime!!

Nehal: I think that this jam is on one of the greatest compilations I own... a little something entitled the 'Rarest and Sweetest'. Great tune. I didn't know that this was the '80s. These outfits currently exist in our wardrobe. Reetu and I performed this at home last night.

Nafisa: I LOVE this song! And i would so rock that shiny, stripy dress Sri Devi is wearing in the beginning if I had it :/

G: Why aren't those rockin' sleeveless shirts still fashionable dammit?!?

To which the staffers here at Doc Bollywood say...

Sonal - not sure what kind of dance they are doing but we all need to learn it and perform it at our next together which leads us to...

Nehal - there is no other compilation album this song could have been on. you will have to teach us all the dance and let us wear the outfits which leads us to...

Nafi - you would totally rock that dress and it appears that reetu will be able to let you borrow it which leads us to...

G - if we look in nehal's closet we will see that sleeveless shirts are not only still fashionable, they are still being worn.

From the 1984 movie 'Inquillab' about being bitten by a scorpion and equating it to falling in love. The song is just dandy and sung with great gusto by Kishore & Asha. The movie never was a huge hit but combined with the cheez fashion, cheez lyrics (complete with subtitles), cheez dancing and of course 2 of the biggest stars in Bollywood history, it's been one of my favorites through the years. And as an added bonus I believe Beth (from Beth Loves Bollywood) stayed at the resort where this was filmed!

Your weekly dose of 80's Bollywood Cheese

Welcome to a new segment from your friends over at Doc Bollywood - a weekly dose of 80's Bollywood Cheese. I am a child of the 80's and it was during that time that my love of Bollywood was truly cultivated and brought to it's zenith (or Zeenat;). Why the 80's? It was then that I started junior high school, began to watch Indian movies in earnest with the advent of VHS tapes and was an unabashed fanboy of Amitabh with Kishore Kumar providing the playback duties for most of my favorite songs. The 80's were a great time in Bollywood with disco having arrived on India's shores (years after it's demise in the US) and the music maestros of Bombay combined those sounds with just the right amount of desiness to make an original sound all their own.

80's Bollywood Cheese is a segment where the movie itself is not really celebrated or discussed because many of them, like today's entry, are forgotten for reasons big and small. Also, in the spirit of 'The Princess Bride' we are not making fun of the songs being presented but are celebrating them in all their past glory for posterity's sake. Mainly though this segment gives a chance for those of us who grew up in that era to relive some fantastic tunes, to give newcomers to Bollywood a chance to see an era that is oftentimes ignored by the media and to provide some needed pizaaz to the daily grind that is life. Enjoy!

Today's song comes to us from 'Nauker Biwi Ka' a 1983 movie I saw at the drive in theater in Ahmedabad (India). Having never been to a drive in movie in America I can't really compare the experience to over there but it was just magical. From the amazing food to the cavalcade of friends & family that were present - it was just a magical experience that unfortunately is part of an era that is no more. But that one night has stayed with me all those years as well as this amazing song.

Kya Naam Hai Tera is sung by Kishore Kumar & Lata and has precious little to do with the rest of the movie. It stars Rishi Kapoor and Reena Roy singing to eachother about their nicknames (he was popularly known as Chintu) leading to the chorus of "Dance with the music, romance with the music". Great dance routines, awesome outfits, amazing tune and of course lots and lots of colors - what else can you ask for?

Hum Kisise Kum Naheen (1977)

70's Bollywood movies are some of our group's favorite ones to watch. The tantalizing tunes, fantastic fashions, kaleidoscope of colors and symphony of stars make them a great choice for group viewing. When one of these movies is hitting on all cylinders the result is escapism in it's finest form as well as a treat for the senses. The filmmakers made these movies with reckless abandon and created some priceless Bollyweed along the way (meaning they were either smoking something while it was being made or you need to in order to fully enjoy them). But what happens when the excesses go to far? When the aforementioned filmmaker puts together all the elements of a classic masala movie but doesn't get the ingredients in quite right? Well what you get is an almost good movie that instead serves notice that sometimes more is indeed less. One of the last directorial ventures by the iconic Nasir Hussain will best be remembered for the fact that I was more confused by the plot line of this movie than by any other movie in recent history. And yes, I know I have said that plot is the least important part of any 70's Bollywood masala movie but it needs to at least be there for god's sake.

But wait Doc, there is a plot isn't there? You can't go for 162 minutes without a coherent plot! Or can you? This is the synopsis of the movie from the back of my DVD - it may confuse you but watching the actual movie may confuse you even more...



Rajesh's (Rishi Kapoor) father, a rich business man winds up his business in Africa and starts off for India with diamonds worth Rupees twenty five crores. The diamonds were hidden in a leather belt with him when he died at Beirut Airport(!). Before dying, he gave the belt to one Mr. Kishorilal and requested him to take his life's savings to his son Rajesh. But Rajesh does not get the diamonds. The diamond belt mysteriously finds it's way into a bicycle tool box belonging to Sanjay (Tariq) who is not even aware of it.
In his search for the diamonds Rajesh comes across Kaajal (Kaajal Kiran), Kishorilal's only daughter. Kaajal in childhood was betrothed to Sanjay but in a cruel twist of fate was separated from him. The two young men, Rajesh & Sanjay, create such a tremendous emotional dilemma in Kaajal's life that she is unable to decide which one will be the right choice. But a more explosive situation is created when Saudagar Singh (Amjad Khan), an international criminal, turns Rajesh, Sanjay & Kaajal into pawns. Saudagar Singh has pursued the diamonds from Africa to India. Who gets the diamonds eventually - Saudagar or Sanjay? Who saves Kaajal's life and wins her love - Rajesh or Sanjay? This is the fabulous and colourful story of romance and intrigue of 'Hum Kisise Kum Nahin'!



What was most maddening about this movie is that Nasir Husain chose NOT to focus on two of the most charismatic stars in Bollywood (Rishi & Zeenat Aman - who is not even mentioned in the plot synopsis) but instead handed it over to two unknowns who just did not have the gravitas to carry such a bloated film. Granted, Rishi & Zeenat may have not been able to either but at least we would have had them in the majority of the movie and perhaps that would have been enough. But it wasn't meant to be and the movie just didn't do it for me. It went on to win several Filmfare Awards including two for Rafi for playback singing, one for the art direction and one for the cinematography. This movie does have something amazing going for it though - R.D. Burman's chart topping and jaw dropping soundtrack. Nasir Husain demanded that Kishore & Rafi get an equal number of songs and in this round it was Rafi that came out the clear winner. The song for today is sung by Asha Bhonsle (aka Mrs R.D. Burman) & Rafiji and is the title track as well as quite possibly the greatest quwalli EVER in the history of Bollywood. Zeenat may not be the star of the movie but she completely takes it over during her rendition of it's title track - I dare you not to get goosebumps when Asha starts singing, it's that good.



Our group viewing included 2 Bollywood virgins and I hate to think that they never tried another one after their misadventure with this one. As various members of our party either fell asleep or got up to start getting ready for that evening, our friend Eric stayed behind watching intently. No matter how ludicrous or inane the movie became, he never moved. Finally, after the umpteenth gunfight (aka needless plot extension )I finally asked him, "Eric, what the hell are you doing?". He looked at me and simply said "I need to know what happened to the diamonds". Well Eric, the below screen caps and synopsis are for you and so everyone can feel they saw the movie and then proceed to watch all the songs on youtube. Warning - the below screenshots may actually entice you to want to see the movie but enjoy them here and only here. Consider yourself warned ;)

The movie begins with a letter from a father to a son~



Followed by a completely unnecessary plot detail (so Beirut was at one time considered exotic? Interesting).



We then learn a little about Rajesh. That he is a great dancer and has AWESOME fashion sense.



This guy looks nefarious but again, a complete mismanagement of star power by NOT using Amjad Khan in more of the movie.



The only saving grace from the goonda camp. These are Kaajal's bodyguards and I am still not sure whether they were meant to be scary or funny - they turned out to be scarily funny (like four Curlys from the Three Stooges).



Flashback to a scene with these lovely two urchins singing the second of three signature songs from the movie, 'Kya Hua Tera Vaada?'. During this whole scene the two fathers agree that the kids will indeed be married someday but instead they get separated by the cruel hands of fate.



Father & son track down the lovely Kaajal's whereabouts and remind her dad of the 'vaada' he made years ago regarding their future. I just love the turban on Shri Ram Lagoo here. Anyway, they are shooed away by Kaajal's dad because he has become stupid rich over the years and they just aren't a good match anymore. Boo!



OK - this is where the fuzziness really begins. Somehow Sanjay starts working for Rajesh (as his manager) and Kaajal is sent to meet Rajesh for a possible 'rishtaa'. Sanjay sees Kaajal and pretends to be Rajesh with the four Curlys standing guard behind her.



Kaajal tells Sanjay that she can't go anywhere without her goons so they decide to ditch them for a day out on the town. This is the goon's 'which way did they go George' look.



Quite possibly my 2nd favorite scene in the movie. While out and about with Sanjay (having successfully ditched the Curlys) Kaajal gets her hands on some balloons and floats away during 'Yeh Ladka Hai Allah'. Colors colors colors!



The real Rajesh (aka Rishi Kapoor) shows up while Sanjay does his best 'Who Me?' look. Somehow during all this I think Sanjay has figured out that Kaajal is his childhood sweetheart, still not sure when that exactly happened though.



Rajesh tries his hand at wooing Kaajal since he was the one who was supposed to do it in the first place and does a splendid job of it. He is freaking Rishi Kapoor after all!



To get to the aforementioned programme, Rajesh needs to do something about the Curlys. He puts something in their chai that doesn't quite agree with them, hilarity ensues!



Is it? Could it be? I think it is... DANCE OFF 70'S SHTYLE!!!!!!!!



I got my own backup band, my nickname is Chintu and I got yet ANOTHER amazing white outfit to do battle with you in, what you got to say now playah?



Rajesh wins a Kaajal for his efforts, was there any doubt to the winner of this one?



Not trying to tell you how to do your job Mr. Husain and granted, I am extremely thankful that you decided to put Zeenat into the movie at this point but what the hell happened? I thought Rajesh just won over Kaajal but out of nowhere you magically add Sunita (Zeenat Aman in an uncredited role) to the mix? So confused but can't... stop... watching.



Immediately after the above scene (really) we find out that Sunita has told Rajesh (for unknown reasons) that she can't marry him and so begins the signature scene of the movie with a quwalli for the ages, 'Hum Kisise Kum Nahin'.



Obligatory shot of Zeenat looking both pained and drop dead gorgeous. Rajesh is basically calling her out on her sudden about face at their blossoming love affair.



She takes the bait and then proceeds to take over the move in less than two minutes of screen time (with a little help from Asha Bhonsle).



OK, so by this point I am completely lost and have no idea why Rajesh called Kaajal out for a mountainside picnic when it's clear that Sunita has reciprocated his feelings for her. I just included this shot for the fabulous brown ALL LEATHER SUIT that Rajesh is sporting. Oh, and Sunita disappears, again.



Rajesh takes Kaajal out for dinner and look who just happens to be the entertainment for the evening - it's Sanjay (in a most unfortunate headband)!



And it's signature song number three of the movie - the one that the two childhood sweethearts sang to eachother wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy back in the beginning of the movie. Except this time Sanjay is ASKING Kaajal, "what did happen to your promise?". It all comes together for Kaajal and she is a bit overwhelmed at it all.



Somehow everyone figures out who eachother is and Eric finally gets an answer to his question about what happened to those diamonds. Unfortunately, no one else but him cares about them at this point.



A really really really REALLY long gun battle erupts over the diamonds even though it's clear that no one was around for the big reveal. I love this shot of the gun toting goondas coming after our band of misfits. Why? Because they are wearing matching outfits with matching leather vests to boot, bravo costume designer, bravo.



Now that Rajesh has figured out that Sanjay and Kaajal were meant to be he writes her a letter telling her so. After writing the letter he decides to immediately leave town.



On his way OUT of town he runs into Sanjay coming back INTO town. After reuniting our two doomed lovers (and his dad) the too cute couple ask Rajesh about any parting words of wisdom. I swear that Sanjay is wearing more makeup than Kaajal here but that killer scarf makes up for it.



Guess who else was coming back INTO town to find Sanjay? Yes, our lovely Sunita was if for no other reason than to put a tidy bow of completion on this glorious mess of a movie. Rajesh's advice is what else but the title of the movie? Yes, it makes no sense here but nothing much else did so what's the problem? Zeenat & Rishi - thanks for the memories...